A Funereal Plots Double-Feature Review:
House on Eden & Together
Reviewed by Matthew M. Bartlett
Funereal Plots
Horror Cinema reviews
Matthew M. Bartlett
House on Eden
Writer/Director: Kris Collins
Three bickering, bantering twenty-somethings—all real people playing themselves, it turns out—go into the woods with cameras, investigating the supernatural, only to find more than they bargained for. Sound familiar? Of the past few decades’ deluge of found footage movies, second only in frequency to zombie movies and shows, this one is the most flagrantly inspired by its legendary forbear. If it had come out within a year or two after, it surely would have been derided as a shameless imitator.
But we’re in 2025 now, so it’s YouTube influencers doing the filming, ghost hunters with “real” ghost hunting equipment. This time the megalomaniacal leader is Kris (TikTokker Kallmekris—who also directs under her real name). She’s hoodwinked her compatriots Celina (Celina Myers aka Celina Spookyboo, another TikTokker known only to me from having seen a few of her funny videos) and Jay (Jason Christopher Mayer a real-life film-editor), who thought they were going to a haunted graveyard, into going instead to a haunted house unknown to the paranormal community—and it’s in the middle of the woods.
A few scenes are quite effective. Before the trio finds the house, they stumble on the remains of a bonfire, a large one, encircled by cement blocks—an eerie effect with a good payoff at the end. A scene where all the characters simultaneously lose consciousness works well too—a likely nod not to The Blair Witch Project, but to its ill-regarded but still intriguing sequel Book of Shadows.
The banter is funny and the trio likeable enough, with excellent chemistry, but the real star of the movie is the manor house, gorgeous, pristine, well-appointed despite the creepy folk-art dolls, abandoned but untouched by vandals. My imagination leapt at the thought of the ghosts or monsters they might find within.
Turns out, not much, although there are some extremely effective scenes involving ghost-detection equipment. I recall having seen a few of the same devices used by “real-life” paranormal investigators Greg and Dana Newkirk in their docuseries “Hellier.” For example, there’s the Spirit Box that speaks one-word “messages” from the other side in a toneless robotic voice—employed to extremely eerie effect here. There’s also “cat balls” which light up when a spirit brushes by them.
As the movie tilts into its final third, the hints about a “girl who disappeared 60 years ago”, an info dump about the biblical figure Lilith (whose name is written above a door in the house)—which ties into an easy-to-predict revelation about Kris—and brief glimpses of an elderly woman in a nightgown, all dissolve into semi-coherent chaos as Celina eats open her wrists, Jay is dragged off, and Kris, in a scene that’s supposed to be startling but presents more like slapstick, is knocked into a bathtub by the old woman in the nightgown.
The final scenes recover some of the horror-mojo, as Kris is possessed, entered into a ritual of blood and fire, and the proceedings come to a dark close.
Altogether House on Eden doesn’t quite deliver on its promise, but it’s entertaining and funny, with good horrific scenes. I wouldn’t have wanted to see it in the theater, but for streaming something creepy on a dark night, it fits the bill.
Funereal Plots
Horror Cinema reviews
Matthew M. Bartlett
Together
Writer/Director: Michael Shanks
A codependent couple’s bodies keep trying to fuse after they drink from a suspect underground spring. On the nose! If you’ve had it with movies where the horror is a metaphor, well, they don’t get more obvious than this one.
And yet…Together has its charms. Tim (Dave Franco) is an aspiring musician mourning the death of his parents. Millie (Alison Brie of the show Community) is his girlfriend, who’s frustrated by his absent libido and his inability to truly commit. He needs her because, well, she drives him places—but does he love her? He doesn’t know. After moving to the countryside (in how many horror movie reviews can I use that clause—all of them?) they fall into a hole while hiking and discover the remnants of a church of some kind, marked by a bell with a curious design and featuring a strange, tentacle-ringed pool. After Tim drinks from the spring, they wake to find a gummy substance gluing his leg to hers. They pull apart painfully.
Millie befriends fellow teacher Jamie (Damon Herriman from Justified) who explains that the underground ruins are what remains of a “new age” church. “Cult vibes,” says Tim. Tim knows what’s up—just not all of what’s up.
One day Millie leaves the house. Tim breaks out in a sweat and feels his body moving toward her. Another time, he leaves to play an important gig, and finds himself outside Millie’s window. The two have sex in a school laboratory, and, well, other body parts get stuck together. What follows is a mix of body horror with scenes that are either purposefully hilarious or unintentionally funny. They’re certainly played straight, for whatever that’s worth. The characters saw through fused flesh, deliberately overdose on muscle relaxants, slide toward one another helplessly, their bodies contorting and rolling.
Finally, a character the viewer might have suspected knows more than he says…turns out to know more than he says…and to have an important link to the defunct church. The denouement, while sort of predictable, is nonetheless extremely well done. All in all, Together is a good time, despite, or maybe because of, the on-the-nose metaphor and the is-this-meant-to-be-funny scenes. The actors have chemistry, the writing is solid, and the effects are wince-but-keep-watching good.
