Funereal Plots

Horror Cinema reviews

Matthew M. Bartlett

Arcadian

Director – Benjamin Brewer

Writer – Michale Nilon

In a post-pandemic, post-apocalyptic world, Paul (Nicolas Cage, in subdued mode) and his sons Thomas and Joseph fight off creepy creatures of unexplained origin in their reinforced home. Arcadian has a look and themes all too familiar, with its gritty survivors in sylvan woods and far-flung farms, and I wouldn’t be in the slightest bit surprised to find out it was a discarded one-off episode of either The Walking Dead or The Last of Us.

Thomas, the impetuous risk-taker of the trio, likes to visit a farm occupied by the Roses, a family with a daughter, named Charlotte, about his age, so they can make eyes at one another. When Thomas falls into a ditch on his way home from the farm, he has to fend off the creatures on his own; at home, Joseph sets himself up as bait to try to trap and study one of the creatures. The scene in which the creature breaches the door is one of the more effective, eerie scenes in the movie. Sadly, this plot thread is abruptly abandoned.

We enter Walking Dead territory when Paul is injured (effectively removing Cage from the bulk of the proceedings and most of the movie’s run time) and Thomas heads to the Rose farm to try to beg for medicine. Of course, he is brusquely turned away, attempts to smuggle out the medicine (this is one of those all-purpose movie medications that causes the patient to cough, wake up, and heal), but is caught, and about to be mutilated for his efforts. His predicament seems impossible, so, of course, the monsters swoop in to attack and kill most everyone, conveniently allowing Thomas and Charlotte to escape.

As to the creatures: the design and conception is effective—they look at once goofy (literally, like the Disney dog, apparently not far from the filmmakers’ minds) and savage, and they do this thing with their jaws that is terrifying, though the filmmakers for some reason forego the opportunity to show them actually causing physical harm with it. The only issue is that several times the creatures are shown in too much light, and we’re suddenly subjected to what I call the “Roger Rabbit” effect – we see, and cannot unsee, humans interacting with cartoons. The ultimate enemy of the suspension of disbelief.

Ultimately I began to think of Jar-Jar Binks. It’s hard to be afraid of Jar-Jar Binks.