Funereal Plots

Horror Cinema reviews

Matthew M. Bartlett

You’ll Never Find Me

I’m a sucker for movies adapted from plays, or movies that could be a play. You’ll Never Find Me, directed by Indianna Bell and Josiah Allen, and written by Bell, falls squarely in the latter category. It has a single-location setting (a trailer, or a caravan, whatever they have in Australia), only two characters (Patrick, the morose, secretive inhabitant of the trailer, played by Brendan Rock, and a mysterious unnamed woman, played by Jordan Cowan), and relies mainly on dialogue and performance to carry the story.

The setup is simple. On a stormy night, a young woman pounds on the door of a middle-aged man who lives alone in a trailer. What follows is a psychological cat-and-mouse game in which it’s clear that a lot of information is withheld from the audience, leaving us in the distracted position of trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Each character seems to be lying, while at the same time trying to determine whether the other character is lying. Is the man a threat to the woman, or is the woman a threat to the man? Is it both? The woman’s story rings false—where did she actually come from? Is she trapped in the trailer park by a locked gate, as she claims? If so, how did she get in in the first place? Is it true, as Patrick asserts, that his car doesn’t work and he’s without a phone? Why does he have women’s clothing and jewelry scattered about? In the title, who is the “you” and who is the “me” they’ll never find?

The man encourages the woman to remove an item of clothing in order to dry it. He encourages her to shower. Sketchy! But she doesn’t seem to see the threat that the audience sees. Blood appears in shower drains, in soup, on a hammer, on the flesh of one of the characters. Heightening the central conceit of the movie in a laughably obvious way, Patrick and the young woman engage in a game of Bullshit—the card game in which bluffing is the main thrust of the game.

When the power goes out in Patrick’s caravan, we’re forced to consider the fact that the movie is now literally leaving us in the dark.

Eventually the young woman tries to escape, even as we’re still unsure she’s being kept there against her will. But very quickly, the movie reveals exactly what it’s been withholding the whole time—except for one key element for which we must wait.

You’ll Never Find me is basically a cat-and-mouse guessing game in the guise of a plot, and when the first big reveal finally hits, it plays out like one of several possible conclusions to one of those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books.

But the performers pull off what must have been a very challenging balancing act—Patrick manages to seem creepy while still evoking our cautious sympathy, and the young women is cheerfully enigmatic. The actors, the suspense, and the claustrophobic atmosphere (heightened by very effective sound design) keep the movie from being a complete slog, and the final shock and the dénouement are masterful. So, ultimately, this is a mixed bag, but I’d recommend it if you’re looking for something different.